Or
Is it really cheating if you never actually touch?
By E.R. York
The silence in the house was thick as he slipped out from under the covers. Her rhythmic breathing told him that she was deep asleep. Silently, careful not to make a sound, he pulled on the pair of shorts that he always kept by his corner of the bed. He crossed to the other side of the room, checked once more for sounds of stirring, then ever so gently closed the door. The bolt clicked shut with a soft thunk.
Over the past few months he had become quite adept at this. He never turned on the light in the small study, just clicked the button on the monitor, the big one she had given him for his birthday last year. It was enormous – 27”. She was pretty good at taking hints, he had to admit. When he had complained yet again about how hard it was getting to see the text of his e-books on the 22” screen, she had spent the $400 and got him the biggest one she could reasonably afford that would fit on his desk. It was turned so that even if she did wake up and see the glow coming from the study, it would be faint and not too obvious!
He pushed the button on the lower right corner and the screen blazed to life. “Hi Honey,” the email said. “So sorry I missed our call. Monday came and went...sorry. When can we schedule again? Tell me best days and times... Maybe this weekend I'll have time to send some updated pics. I'm so excited to talk with you!! Loooooove the sound of your voice... so sexy! Brings back such hot memories...;-)
Love you Baby,
PussyCat.”
He looked at the clock in the corner of the screen. 3:09 Pacific Time. It would be 6:09 on the East Coast. Saturday morning. She was always up by this time, maybe she would be open to a little IMing. He clicked the little IM window and typed, “Hey, Babe! What’s shakin...” He pressed the enter key and with a cheerful blip! the message was on its way. While he waited for a reply, he leaned back in his chair, the one his wife had picked out for him, and closed his eyes. He could still remember her soft blond hair, the curve of her shoulder, the way her butt fit into the crook of his groin when they spooned after sex. If he breathed deep, he could still smell the earthy musk of her skin. They hadn’t seen each other in years, but some things never die. And he had no deterrents, these days. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t seem to find anything to like about the woman in the bed in the next room.
In some ways, he had to admit, the marriage wasn’t all that bad...but it wasn’t all that good either. She could be a handful at times, but in the beginning, that was what had attracted him to her. She had a strong, determined nature, and a real passion for life. It really took a lot to get her down. But in the last couple of years, she had become - really - just a friend. They didn’t seem to have much in common anymore. She didn’t like the same TV shows, didn’t have time to go to movies anymore since she was always working on something or other, mostly her degrees, and he didn’t have a lot of interest in doing the things that they used to do together – going to the gym, riding bikes, karate lessons. All that had gone away somehow. Now she pretty much just did her own thing, went her own way, and that was more than ok with him. Through the daily routines and financial pressures, and daily family drama... not much was left for romance. Add to that the trouble she had keeping a job and psssssttt! there goes another bucket of water on the fire.
“10 Ways to Spark Up Your Lovelife!”, “Reignite your passions!”, blah, blah, blah... endless articles promised that the joy and excitement that used to permeate every facet of their lives together was only a few paragraphs away. He’d read them all in the beginning, back when he still cared. But these days, on the rare occasion when they did seem to find a little time or interest in sex, he just couldn’t seem to maintain any excitement about or for her. He did try, but it just wasn’t there. Nothing about her excited him anymore.
The IM jumped to life with a little jingle. “Oh Baby! I can’t believe we missed our call this week!” her words always made things jump... his heart, his mind, his dick. ”it’s hard enough being 6000 miles away from my big guy!”
“yeah, I know. Miss you too, Babe!!!!!!” he tapped out on the keyboard. “So what’s going on?”
“nothing too much... just missing you. When can we have another HOT HOT HOT phone call? That last one left me dripping for days!” he could almost hear her purring at him through the internet.
“told you Baby, Monday’s are best-that’s when she’s at her class. I’m home alone till 10 pm my time. That’s the best time to have a little phone fun...”
“don’t like waiting till Mondays.”
“Ya busy right now baby? I got some time. No one’s up yet. House is pretty quiet... what are you wearing? :-)” the stirring in his pants was getting more insistent.
“Gotta new webcam... wanna see? :-)” came the reply over the IM.
“O Baby, you been holding out on me???” He clicked the little camera icon in the bottom corner of the IM window. Playful words gave way to a grainy video. He leaned back in his chair and put on his headphones, losing himself in the sights and sounds emanating from his screen. At one point, not too long ago, when she had friended him out of the blue on his Facebook page, he figured “What the hell... a little reminiscing, a little play time... what could it hurt?” Ok... so maybe not so out of the blue. Maybe when he had spent all that time search for “friends” it wasn’t exactly all that innocent. Maybe he was looking to reconnect for more than just a diversion. But now he knew for sure. Lusting and longing for the past had surrendered to now. And he knew he had to admit that he was in love. “Once again” or “still” didn’t matter. He was in love again with the long-distant past girlfriend – the one that got away. The one that reminded him what it felt like to be a teenager again.
In the darkness, she turned over on her side, flipped the pillow over to the cool side, and closed her eyes. She shut them tight and held her breath. She didn’t want to see the soft glow of light that oozed from under the bedroom door. She held her breath and lay perfectly still, unflinching. Hoping that no one else could hear that sound – that shattering crystal sound. The sound of her heart breaking.
